A BLANK STATE.

It would strike midnight in few minutes. I am tired. So tired that I am unable to move a limb, or think. In search of Sleep. 

Yes. Past three days, I would have slept for a total of 5 hours. 5/36, sounds worse. Yet I am not able to make myself to get some sleep. A state, where i show a zero percent reaction. Nightmares, Confusions, Sadness, Sickness. 

Is this what they call as "Insomnia"? 

I have lot of stories going on in my mind. All a sudden dive into writing. Yet I am not strong enough to think, phrase and pen down.

I deserve the pain I am in. The pain of guilt.

I keep wondering every time as to how difficult things happen in life, since I am (so-called) good and I don't remotely hurt anyone.

Well obviously, this isn't the case.

I push away people, esp those who shower love and concern on me. I block anyone and everyone from my closet. I avoid closeness at all costs.

The person I am, is not the Person I seem to be.

I love emptiness, darkness, Emo, Abstract, Silence, Grey shades.

I wish I hadn't hurt anyone in this process. 

And I wish, Everything goes fine with those people, Esp the Best People in my life.

I Wish.

WRITING, As you call it!

I am just not gonna write anything tonight.
All thoughts and no substance and sticky words, just not working daily.

All you beautiful writers out there, keep up your beautiful words intact and keep them coming, they just amaze me as much as they deter me positively, just proving the fact, that just by having the writing abilities one can't go beyond a fifth post.
And content, it will come.

Beautiful writing, it is a beautiful dream to live for.

And yes, apologies for the nameless posts previously. I just can't be more stupid.

Vini :-)

Sick.

Had a long night, not to mention he word emotional, yesterday. Had to go through the battle of emotions and without a concrete point. More like fighting blindfolded in the dark, just by swishing the swords in all directions.
Which led to a shallow alert sleep
for some four hours.
Which explains the status of myself, sick tired with burning eyes and a nice headache.

Work, fortunately not much incoming except for small requests.

Researched about blog, and the results are quite depressing, be it my blog seo or pageranks.
Well have to accept how nobody cares to read non stop ramblings of a 20-something sitting in the corner of the fifth floor, hidden behind a square box of an old pc. Funny how could I ever dream of becoming visible when I am just aiming for invisibility all over. Contradictory, yes me.

More later.





Taken from my iPod in morning, can't sit idle when your bus is tuck in traffic jam for an hour.
And, damn hot. What is becoming of the good old cool city of Bangalore.